Heaven

Daffodil went to Heaven today. She suffered from a liver shunt, as well as Mange, a very rare tick disease that I cannot even pronounce and Rocky Mountain fever. She was at the vet for 8 days getting test after test because she had the vet very puzzled. At one point, he had it narrowed down to three of the four illnesses, but after she did not respond the way he anticipated to the meds, he ran more tests. It appears that she has had a liver shunt since birth and should really not have survived more than a year. She lived almost 5. When she acquired the Mange, she had to have 2 strong meds to combat it. One of which her liver could not tolerate, and all went down hill from there. We brought her home on Sat with a slight hope that with a homemade diet and several meds, vitamins and homeopathic tonic, would bring her strength back. We knew it would be a long shot but worth a try. At that point, she was too weak for surgery. So, after 5 days of various meds at all different times of day, home made meals consisting of rice, cottage cheese, egg white and honey, and LOTS of mess because she no longer had control of her potty, we had to make the decision. It was just so sad. Scott, of course, has been out of town for three days so we are making decisions via phone. I decided that I needed to do it because sitting here watching her like this with the kids was no better. So the children said goodbye and this brings me to the point of this blog post. Daffy was Isabelle's dog so I knew we needed to have a private conversation about what was going to happen. She had an idea that Daffodil may need to go to Heaven so it was not a surprise. I gently explained to her that we have tried to make Daffy better and she had clearly seen that in the past few days. I went on to explain the obvious and she began to cry. She said this "Mama, I remember when Daffy could fit into my hands and she used to play with me. But you know, Mom, when Daffy gets to Heaven, she will be young again and play like she did when she was a puppy. That is what the bible says. She will play with Andre and the kitties and she will be happy." I will not forget those words. They got me through today and they will continue to do so. Her faith astounds me. Our conversation allowed to me think about death in another way. It is so easy to focus on the hurt and sorrow. Isabelle went with me to the vet today. She did not actually witness the procedure, but we said goodbye to Daffy. As I sat and cried, she reassured me that Daffy was ok. That Heaven was ok. Thank you, Isabelle, for having the strength and the courage to go with me. Thank you, Scott, for being with Daffy while she went to see Andre and the kitties. I love you Daffy. Have fun up there.